Embracing Imperfection

My original goal when I started this blogging adventure was to find a way to be held accountable for trying to get myself and the kids organized.  I think that was a noble goal but I've realized that all that's really come out of it is that I'm starting to realize that I'm a little bit (maybe even a lot) crazy.  Every night I lay awake thinking about all the things left on my to-do list and I can't figure out why I can't seem to get on top of them.  It doesn't seem like it should be that difficult and yet, it is.

Have you heard that story about the grasshopper and the ant? Basically it defines two types of people.  Lousia Plummer, a modern day author had a unique take on the story.  First, there is the ant who is an industrial, hard working soul.  The ant's home is always tidy.  Her children eat home cooked meals every night, never have to scrounge through the sock basket for two socks that match and  every evening their homework is done, piano practicing is complete and all 12 of them are in bed on time. (Or something like that.)

Then there is the grasshopper.  The grasshopper is the opposite of the ant.  Her house is messy but that's because she's neck deep in finger painting with her toddler, baking bread for a sick neighbor and writing the script for the upcoming school play.

The moral of this modern day story is that even though the grasshopper and the ant are different--they both have a lot to offer and neither one is "better" than the other one.  I really love that idea and I've spent a lot of time thinking about which one I am and I've come to the conclusion that I'm neither.  I'm a gnat.  You know--those little bugs that are easily distracted, attracted to the light and seem to congregate over a recently shampooed head of hair?  Case in point:

This morning I headed out to the gym with two goals in mind.  First, I needed a work out.  Secondly, I had a Weight Watchers meeting to lead in a couple of hours and I still hadn't prepared so I thought I could kill two birds with one stone and burn a bunch of calories on the eliptical while studying up for my job.  This was a good plan that went completely out the window when I walked by the aerobics room and heard some funky music playing which sounded like a whole lot more fun than the original plan.  So, like one of those pesky gnats drawn to light I made a bee line for "Belly Fit."

Now, if you have not had the pleasure of experiencing "Belly Fit" I will explain.  Its sort of like a cross between aerobics and yoga with a whole lot of flower child, mumbo jumbo thrown in.  I'm really not the new age type but like I said, it had some funky music that was calling to me.  So there I was, "throwing my earth fireball" and "stirring my pot of energy" (I am not making that up) and thinking about why I can't seem to get my act together.  This went on for the next hour and the whole time I'm trying to "unleash my inner goddess" I'm thinking, "forget the inner goddess I just want to know why does an organized life seem to elude me?"  What is the solution?  And then, as I lay on the floor at the end of my work out (you know it's a good class when you get to practically take a nap at the end) I  got in touch with my "heart center", "embraced my imperfection" and attempted to accept it.

I'm probably not ever going to have a perfectly clean house.  It's not going to be look like it came out of a home decorator magazine.  There, I said it.  The chances of that happening are pretty much nil--unless I get a live in housekeeper.  Which I'm like 99.9% sure will never happen.  And I'm going to have to be ok with that.  My life is busy--and not just busy but full.  Full of kids and teenagers, and band boosters and church assignments, and service and work and dates and Baja Fresh.  And happiness.  A whole lot of happiness:-)

I'm not giving up--I'm just going to try to not be so hard on myself.  There's loads of room for improvement --but I'm going to try to be ok with small gains--like matched socks--instead of a complete overhaul.  And who knows?  Maybe all those small gains will add up--to a whole laundry room full of folded clothes.  In the meantime maybe stirring my pot of energy wasn't a bad way to spend my morning after all.  I'll get in touch with my happiness chakra and get back to you.


P.S. I know you've all been kept up at night worrying about that smell in my den.  I know I was--I had visions of dead rats or raccoons or worse under my floorboards.  Dave, being the manly man that he is braved the crawl space and happily reported that there was nothing under there.  In the end, it ended up being our surge protector--how weird is that?  Jordan figured it out--he came in, took one smell and said it smelled like moldy electronics.  (How he knows what the smells like, I have no idea) but there you have it.  $24 later we had a new cord and the smell was gone.

"Really???"

Fall is in the air and while the colors are beautiful the change in season presents one challenge here at the Morgans:

This tree is ENORMOUS!  And while it is beautiful this is what happens to our yard:

So for the next few weeks it will be an endless battle to try to stay on top of these falling leaves.  I think last year we managed to rake up over 50 giant bags!  

This is a picture I took several years ago after one of our near daily raking sessions--and of course I have a story to go with it.  Just thinking about it is riling me up...

It was a really rainy day and our yard was (again) filled with leaves.  You can go out and spend two hours raking, go in the house to warm up and come back 20 minutes later to a yard full of more leaves. It's sort of maddening.  So that rainy Saturday morning I got all 6 kids up and we set out to rake the yard.  (This is a mothering feat in and of itself).  I was feeling pretty proud of the fact that all six kids were out there being pretty industrious and not complaining (too much) when our old lady neighbor pulled up in front of our house.  "How nice," I thought.  "She's coming to commend the kids on what hard workers they are being."  Uhhh..not so much.

Cranky neighbor rolls down her window, leans out with a look of disdain and says to me (I am not making this up), "I'm glad to see you finally raking your leaves up--they blow into my yard."

Seriously????  THAT'S what you're going to say to the mother of six who has like a thousand things to do on any given day and who is out nearly every day raking up piles and piles of leaves?  And you're going to say that in front of my children?  Needless to say this did not go over well with me but of course I was too stunned to think of a snappy comeback.  (I know, I know--my instinct should be to turn the other cheek, but dang it crazy lady, you try keeping up with a zillion leaves from a 50 foot tree!) Luckily, I have those boys with the Morgan wit gene so after we finished cleaning up I came back inside as one of them stayed out to "finish something up."  What was it, you ask?  Well, his own witty response to that mean old lady:  a sign staked in our yard that read"

"LEAF ME ALONE."

Hilarious right?  Man, sometimes I love these kids...And it seems like it might be time to resurrect that sign because today was windy and I came home to a yard full of leaves and guess who stopped by?  Yep--cranky neighbor pulled up to the house as McKay and Davis were leaving to rehearsal and instructed them to "clean up your yard--those leaves are blowing down to mine."  And McKay's response:

  "Yep--I'll get right on controlling nature for you lady."

So here's the dilemma--I was going to go out and rake but right now that is about the last thing I want to do.  What I want to do is take out my leaf blower and blow them straight down into her yard but of course, I need to be the bigger person.  So I'll rake...after a long windy nap...

I'm living in THIS?

We just got done with a fabulous visit from Dave's parents and brother this past weekend.  I tell everyone I meet that I have the world's best in-laws--it's the truth.  But what is it about having company that makes you look around your house and ask, "I've been living in THIS?"  I mean, I guess you just get used to living in your own mess and it doesn't seem that bad until you look at it through someone else's eyes.  Now don't get me wrong--my in laws are very nonjudgmental (or if they are they do a pretty good job of keeping it on the down low) so they aren't making me feel bad--I've got that covered myself.

Why is it that some people just seem to be able to always keep a clean house?  There's got to be some secret--because I see these houses on Pinterest.  And they are clean.  The problem is I have complete cleaning A.D.D.

Here's a recent example:

The other morning at about 7:30 am I decided that I would take the garbage cans and yard debris out to the curb for Dave.  He usually does it but he was under the weather so I thought I would help out.  Since we have already established that I am NOT a morning person I was still wearing my pajamas and my hair looked like I had just slept on it.  Oh wait...I had.  To further add to the ensemble the only shoes I had sitting by the front door were my black ballet flats, of course.  You already know how lazy I am so I slipped the flats on and set out to get the cans.  As I was putting the yard debris out I realized that it had been really windy and there were branches all over the yard so I figured I might as well throw those in there while I was at it.  Then I thought as long as I was doing that I might as well rake the leaves and pull some weeds (remember--the in laws were coming).  This is all happening while I am in my pajama/ballet flat/crazy hair ensemble which wouldn't have been a problem because my cul de sac is pretty deserted.  Except right then the yard maintenance guys for the neighbor showed up.  Well, I looked just fabulous and they must have felt sorry for me because they started cleaning up my leaves for me.  Well I figured I had some extra time now so I went back into the garage where I then saw my drill with the screw bit in it.  That reminded me that for the last 8 years--yes, 8 years-- I had wanted to repaint my house numbers.  So that explains why at 8:00 am I was standing on a 5 gallon bucket unscrewing house numbers and looking homeless while the neighbor paid for her guys to finish my yard work...

That is my typical MO for house cleaning.  I'll start out with one simple task and then get sidetracked by 4 others and usually the first task never gets completed!  I'll make lists and then forget to look at the list.  I'll write a reminder on my hand and then won't be able to remember what the reminder is for.  I've got problems people!  It's no wonder I keep losing all those kids at Disneyland...

Anyway--my goal for tomorrow is to see a project thru from beginning to end without getting sidetracked.  It's a lofty aspiration but with a little bit of luck and whole lot less of Pinterest it might just be attainable.