Choosing the Difficult Path--Our Journey Over A Mountain

Have you ever wondered if it's really necessary to make ourselves do difficult things?  Have you ever thought that the easy way is the better way?  Have you tried to shield your children from life's challenges?  I have--lots of times.  This last week I gained a new perspective on why it's so important to do hard things.

Our family was blessed to all be involved in our youth "Trek" for our church.  For three days the youth in our congregation gathered together for a journey that covered over 26 miles--nearly 9 of them up and over a mountain as they pulled a traditional pioneer handcart loaded with their supplies.  I'll let you in on a little secret:  I hate camping.  Like so, so, much.  I don't like sleeping under the stars with not even a tent to zip up to keep the bugs at bay.  I don't like going 4 days without a shower (remember how vain I am?) And I really, really, really HATE using a porta potty.  The only thing worse is going in the woods--which I did for the first time in my 43 years of living.  (TMI?)

(That's my Davis in the front, middle).

So, if I hate camping and the great outdoors so much, why do I love Trek?  Because it teaches us to do hard things.  And this was hard.  I've been on treks before and they were challenging.  This was beyond challenging.  I don't even know that I have words to adequately describe it, but I'll try.  For this adventure the youth, ages 12-18 are divided into "families" with each family having a Ma and Pa.  Four families make up a "company" and Dave and I were captains of a company. We got a front row seat to the adventure and it was priceless.  On the day of the handcart portion of the trek, the youth donned pioneer clothes and then walked over 5 miles to where their handcarts were parked.  From there they loaded all of their gear and we set out for what would turn out to be an 8.5 mile journey up and over a mountain on logging roads.  There were hills--so, so many hills and pulling the handcarts for over 8 hours up and over those hills pushed these kids to the max.  Some broke down.  Some cried.  Blisters and sunburns were a common theme.  And yet, they did it.  Working together they did what they thought was impossible.  And they did it with patience and love for one another.  They encouraged each other, they prayed together and they all contributed.  At times Dave and I had to help them and often we became emotional watching them struggle.  As we arrived in camp that night the sense of accomplishment was astonishing.

And the next day?  We hiked 12 miles over various terrain in the sun.  For some youth this was easier--for others, they wanted to give up.  But along the way, friends, "parents" and leaders stepped in to offer support.  For the last several miles I hiked with a girl on each arm and one holding onto my backpack because together we were stronger than alone.

These kids will probably never have to physically work this hard again.  They most likely won't be asked to hike 26 miles up and over a mountain while pulling a hand cart.  But they will have challenges in their life that they will want to run away from.  Or avoid.  Or give up on.  And now they know that they have it in them to face them head on and prevail.  As a parent, it is excruciating at times to watch your children experience difficult things.  We want to rescue.  We want to alleviate.  But sometimes the best thing we can do is allow them to endure it.  And when they do, they will come over that mountain stronger than they ever thought they were.

(See that mountain waaay in the distance?  That's what we hiked up and over to get to the beach.)

WHAT ARE SOME OF THE REWARDS YOU HAVE SEEN FROM LETTING YOUR CHILDREN DO DIFFICULT THINGS?  PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW

PUSH UPS AND PARENTING: HOW THEY RELATE

PUSH UPS AND PARENTING:  HOW THEY RELATE

I hate push ups.  So.So.Much.  Recently, my totally awesome and amazing friend, Kelly put together a 5 day work out plan to get me in shape.  (Here is where I would “hashtag” Kelly if I actually knew how hashtags work.  I need lessons from my 16 year old— or the neighbor’s cat.  I think I’m like the only one who doesn’t get them.)  ANYWAY, these work outs are kicking by rear end.  I thought I was doing reasonably hard work-outs before.  I was wrong.  So wrong.  This morning I was doing a new one and on my list was the exercise that I hate the most—push ups. Did I mention that I hate them?  Because I do.  A lot.  They are difficult and uncomfortable and I look ridiculous while I am doing them.  Yet as I was working through my third (THIRD!) set of them this morning, I realized that push ups and parenting have three things in common.

CONSISTENCY:
You are not going to make much progress doing one push up.  Or even doing one set of push ups once. No, you have to do multiple reps, multiple times, and multiple days a week.  For like the rest of your life. Sound familiar?  We can’t make our kids do their chores once and expect to see long term results.  (And believe me, I’ve tried!).  They have to do it over, and over, and over again.  We can’t just take them to church once and expect the lessons there to stick.  We have to do it over and over again until hopefully one day they are doing it for themselves.  If we want to see real progress—with push ups or parenting, we must be consistent.

DIFFICULTY:
Remember how I said push ups are hard?  Being a parent is hard.  Some days I don’t want to get out of bed and face it—just like those pesky push ups.  It would be easier to throw some Cheerios and goldfish at them and curl up with a good book—or an episode of Hoarders.  And every once in a while we do that—but it’s not going to get us the end result we want.  Nope, you’ve got to get up and face those little (or big) lovable monsters because the only way you are going to get better and more confident at this is by practicing and facing that it’s hard—but it’s worth it.

PAY OFF:
If I stick with the push-ups, eventually I AM going to be better at them.  Who knows, I might even graduate to the non-granny, actual real deal variety of push ups.  (As opposed to my current level which means when I attempt a “real” push up I easily can handle the “push” part of the exercise but it’s the “up” part that is lacking.) Somedays being a parent is like that.  When you are in the day to day thick of it, you don’t always see what the end result is going to be.  But I promise that the more you flex those parenting muscles.  The more you practice, refine, and improve, the easier it will be and the more successful you will feel.

Parenting is no picnic, but the rewards are going to far outweigh the heartbreak.  IF we have the right attitude.  And if we realize that it is ok to think that it’s hard and we aren’t going to be perfect.  We just have to keep plodding along granny push up style until one day, you’ll stop for a minute and realize you nailed it—real push up style.

THREE MAGICAL TOOLS TO ORGANIZE YOUR LIFE

THREE MAGICAL TOOLS TO ORGANIZE YOUR LIFE

Well, I can't believe it but it's been just a little over two years since I started this crazy blog.  In the spirit of this two year anniversary, I thought I'd share my top three resources for organizing my scattered brain/life:


THE CLUTTER:

Salvation in the quest to remove clutter arrived early this year with the eye opening read:

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing 

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing

I did a previous blog post about this and if you have not yet read the book--READ IT!  I'm telling you, this one was a game changer for me.  I gave away truckloads of stuff and it's made managing the daily cleaning around this joint tons easier.  The book does have a little bit of a quirky perspective (I'm not so sure my pantyhose need a rest from their labors each day) but the method is a winner in my book. Is my house all bare and tidy all the time?  No--but I no longer have 4 identical gray cardigans and 7 matching paint rollers.  We have a whole lot less stuff and what we do have cleans up much more quickly.  The biggest thing to come out of it?  My tub is clothes free!

MY SCATTERED BRAIN:

Several months ago I referenced a new organization system I was using.  It's called "Mind Organization for Moms" and info can be found here:

https://hm156.infusionsoft.com/app/storeFront/showProductDetail?productId=1

This system is based on the book:

"Getting Things Done:  The Art of Stress Free Productivity" by David Allen

http://www.amazon.com/dp/0743571657/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=35055104244&hvpos=1t1&hvexid=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=13525329193197806&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=b&hvdev=c&ref=pd_sl_9jf0nyvj1c_b

Fantastic read.  My mind was a scattered mess people!  My inbox had THOUSANDS of emails that needed to be sorted/dealt with,  I had stacks of papers, notes, and folders, and I couldn't keep it all straight.  There's a lot of good stuff in this book but if I had to pick two things that have made the biggest different it's this:

1.  Getting everything that is "in" my brain "out" of my brain

2.  Conducting a "weekly review"

Ever had that sneaking suspicion that you were missing something important but you just didn't know what?  I was feeling like that EVERY day!  I went to bed feeling behind and woke up feeling behind.  If Dave would suggest that I relax or take a nap I'd tell him, "I can't--I have so much to do!'  But when he'd ask what I had to do I never knew.  I just knew it was a lot!  By implementing just the two strategies listed above I feel loads better and am more productive than I've ever been.

LEARNING TO SAY NO:

Do you have a hard time saying no?  Do you look at situations and say, "I can help!"  Do you feel the responsibility to pitch in--all the time?  And then do you find yourself overwhelmed--a jack of all trades, but master of none?  Welcome to my world, people.  Welcome.To.My.World.

Until I stumbled on this little gem:

"Essentialism:  The Disciplined Pursuit of Less" by Greg McKeown

http://www.amazon.com/Essentialism-The-Disciplined-Pursuit-Less/dp/0804137382

If you only have time to read one of these books, this is the one.  It's caused me to look at the things I'm involved in and view them through a different lens.  In the process of doing that I find that I can focus more easily on my strengths and be more productive over all.  In a society that is always telling us to get more, do more, be more, it's easy to get overwhelmed.  This book puts life in perspective and has allowed me to begin to really concentrate on what matters most.  Just because I can do something, doesn't mean I should do something.

So if you're feeling overwhelmed and scatter brained, welcome to motherhood! In the meantime, maybe my personal magical tools can help.