I'm not sure, but I might be approaching a mid-life crisis. In the last week I’ve experienced hot flashes, the inability to wear high heels and to top it all off I broke out into some weird hive-like rash which has caused the left half of my body to itch like crazy. I think it might be psychosomatic. Because I just realized that in five years all my children will have left my home. FIVE YEARS PEOPLE!!
Five years ago we were just settling in for a cozy fall with all six of our off spring nestled safely in the Morgan Hacienda. Our oldest was preparing to leave for a mission, two were in high school, two in middle school and we still had an elementary school student. Recess and hot lunch were daily parts of our vocabulary. We guzzled 13 gallons of milk a week and consumed four boxes of cereal in the same amount of time. Every night all eight of us knelt down for prayers. (Ok, who am I kidding, it was more like every other night but still!) Sunday mornings after some nagging, exasperated sighs, and last minute ironing I could look down our church pew and see six Morgan children attempting (and failing) to stay awake through the service.
Five years was not that long ago.
I can’t help but think that these next five years are going to fly by. Currently more than half of our children (because I include our daughters in law as children) live outside the home. Four are in Utah, one serving the Lord in Maine. The house is quieter—everyone is plugged in listening to Hamilton and I find myself watching a lot more Dateline and pondering next steps. And itching—what is UP with this itching???
But then I think, this is what life’s about, right? This is what we have these children for—to raise them up to one day fly the coop. And give us grandchildren. Lots and lots of grandchildren. And so, now I’m spending a lot of my quiet days thinking about what I want my life to look like five years from now. I don’t have any answers but I do see lots of possibilities. Traveling with Dave, volunteering, writing, speaking, and snuggling grandkids. (Did I mention about the grandchildren?)
Some days I miss reading bedtime stories and listening to the sound of Nick Jr. I miss when parenting made sense to me instead of the constant balancing act of trying to parent teens and young adults. I miss a full dinner table, nursery rhymes and when the time out chair was all the leverage I needed. But I also really love now. I love new daughters in law, and the freedom to go out to lunch every day, and grown up conversations with all of my children and watching the fine people they are becoming. And let’s not forget the grandchildren possibility.
But the itching? I’m so over that.
