It’s amazing how quickly you forget what it is like having young kids! (Although when you are in the thick of it you think you’ll never forget…) I recently returned from babysitting my five nieces and nephews for four days and it was a fun and wild ride! I adore them and my time with them solidified my theory: little kids make sense to me! Teenagers…not always. It was refreshing in a way—sort of like getting back on a bike after a few years. The skills were there but with the added perspective of some age and wisdom. Here is my take away regarding parenting young kids:
LIMIT THE RULES
If you have so many rules that you are spending all of your time managing said rules, you have too many rules. I’m convinced this is why elaborate chore charts and points systems rarely seem to work. Who wants to spend all the time managing that when you are already spending about half your day cleaning up messes and wiping noses? (Kids make SO many messes!) Every day I gathered the kids together and went over a few very brief rules: get dressed, eat breakfast, no crying, no whining, no talking back. Short and simple and pretty effective.
DON’T ASK, TELL
I have noticed this strange occurrence when observing parents and teachers lately. They ask the kids instead of telling them. For example: “Do you want to get your pajamas on?” “Do you want to eat dinner?” “Do you want to get ready for school?” If that’s your approach, be prepared for the kid to tell you no. And then you’re stuck. If you ask it as a question then you have to accept the answer. I’m not saying everything should be a command but if you desire a specific outcome then tell, don’t ask. “It’s time to get your pajamas on.” “It’s time to eat dinner.” “Go brush your teeth, please.” This was reinforced this last week—if I told the child then we had success. Give them an inch, they may take a mile.
NO SHOULD MEAN NO
I have a wise sister in law who says that she tries to say yes as often as possible. That doesn’t mean that you let kids get away with everything, it means that you are thoughtful about how you answer requests. If appropriate the answer is yes. If you need to think about it, then you say you’ll get back to them. And if the answer is no, it MUST be no. Kids are geniuses at wearing you down, particularly in those moments right before bed when you are tapped out from a long day of parenting and all you want to do is lay on the couch, watch Dateline and eat peanut M&M’s. (Ask me how I know this…) But the second you go back on your answer, you’ve lost credibility. Kids need boundaries, and so do you. No should mean no. If you aren’t prepared to stick to your guns, don’t say no.
EXPRESS GRATITUDE
Being a kid is hard. You’re learning to manage your emotions, people bigger than you are calling a lot of the shots and dang it, you just want to eat candy for dinner and play Minecraft 20 hours a day. (I’m NOT exaggerating about that Minecraft!) Everyone likes to be told they are appreciated and be acknowledged when they do something well. So smile often at these little ones, hug them and tell them you appreciate that they shared with their brother, were patient at waiting their turn, and got ready for bed without complaint. Kids want to please you so show them you are pleased.
To all you moms and dads of little kids, hang in there. It’s not so much that I wish I could go back to that time (because let’s face it I REALLY like being able to go to lunch whenever I want and take a nap every day) but I do wish I had appreciated it more. It really is true that in the blink of an eye, they will be grown up and you will be wishing for the sounds of Disney Jr. in the background of your day. Trust me on this.
QUESTION: What is YOUR best parenting advice?
*I would love for you to follow us on a regular basis. Just enter your email in the upper right corner of the page and hit "submit". Easy peasy!
*I would love for you to follow us on a regular basis. Just enter your email in the upper right corner of the page and hit "submit". Easy peasy!
