“Begin with the end in mind”. I stumbled upon this quote on FB the other day and it spoke to me. Not in the “oh…NOW I understand where my priorities should be” sort of way. No. Not that. More like the “but what if you have no idea what end you want?” sort of way. Now I’m not talking about the BIG end. Nah…that’s pretty clear. I want to greet the next life with my family intact, as a follower of Christ and a life well lived. That I understand. That I get.
What I am having the hardest time figuring out is what the next steps in this life should be. This isn’t a new feeling. It’s been hanging around for a while-a few years if I’m being honest. A usually gentle (but sometimes not so gentle) feeling in the back of my mind. A feeling that there is something I’m supposed to be doing, a goal I’m supposed to be working towards. Just…something.
I have no idea what that something is.
I know what you’re thinking. Classis signs of a mid-life crisis right? You probably wouldn’t be wrong. Soon I hit the big 50 and in less than that the last of our children will leave the nest. The gray hairs are multiplying by the minute, I just bought my first pair of drugstore eyeglasses, and I’m a legit grandma. It seems like the perfect time for me to lose it a little, perhaps reassess my life goals and actually move towards them.
But what if you don’t know what your life goals ARE?? I am blessed. Beyond blessed. That fact is not lost on me and I thank my lucky stars for the life I have, the people I call family and the friends that love me for my quirky self. I have a rock star husband. (Seriously—he’s the BEST!). I’ve got great kids who married great kids and are having adorable babies. I’ve got the knowledge that the gospel is here on the earth and I’ve got a boat load of faith. I’m grateful for it all, and perhaps becauseI am so grateful for it all, I don’t want to squander this life. I want to be better, try harder, accomplish more, reach my goals.
As soon as I find out what those goals are…
So, if you can relate, or have any bright ideas, or even just have a magic 8 ball I can borrow to figure this out, I’d sure appreciate it.
Photo Cred: Daniel Gonzalez
