What is that smell?

There is a seriously funky smell coming from under our house.  It started a couple of days ago and seems centered in the den--at first I thought it was just the "boy funk" which seems to creep in there after one or more boys has spent time holed up in there playing Minecraft for hours on end but alas, it is not.  I know what you're thinking:  something's dead under the house.  My thoughts exactly and those that know me know that a dead animal ranks right up there on my top 5 list of things that seriously freak me out.  And if it's a dead rodent that's like a top 3 event.  You know what freaks me out even more?  Live rodents.

I wasn't always aware that I have what can only be described as a phobia involving mice.  Nope--it made it's appearance about 9 years ago and if you haven't heard the story, well you're about to...

We had been having a bit of a mice problem in our kitchen cupboard.  These weren't little mice either--these were like corn fed muscle mice--and we'd caught several.  Then one afternoon as I was doing the laundry I pulled the clothes out of the dryer and guess what jumped out at me?  A MOUSE!  That was enough to warrant a call to the exterminator--a robust man by the name of Norm who not only had the biggest plumber's crack you have ever seen but also looked like the mice he was hunting had chewed holes in his clothing.  But nevertheless, Norm's strategies were effective and soon we had the mouse problem under control.  Or so we thought.  A few weeks later one of the boys was digging around in the cupboard under the stove and said, "Mom--I just saw a mouse!."  No way!  I instructed him to pour some poison back there and we called it good.  All was well until a few days later.

To truly understand what comes next you must first have a clear vision of the scene:  It was a lazy summer morning and I was wearing my pajamas and had yet to shower.  Also, in addition to my six children I was watching my sister's 4 children which made for a total of 10 (yes 10) kids under the age of 12 at my house.  As I rounded the corner smack dab in the center of the kitchen is a half dead mouse slowly dragging across the floor.  Sick!  "Ok" I think.  "I'll just go out to the garage, grab the shovel and scoop this sucker up and toss it outside. " So I get the shovel and I kid you not, I could not do it!  I was seriously freaked out--which of course is freaking out the 10 kids.  On to Plan B.  I figure I'll find a neighbor to do it for me.  The kids suggest  Christine Shurtliff across the street, and don't get me wrong, Christine is one of my favorite people in the world but when it comes to half dead rodents she's absolutely no help.  So off I go with me in my pjs, carrying my shovel with 10 kids trailing behind me.  Except our next door neighbor wasn't home.  Nor the one next to him, nor the one after that.  I have now freaked myself out enough that I know there is NO WAY I'm going back in there with that thing dying in my kitchen.  And then, across the street I see a new family just moving in!  Salvation!  So off I go (in my pajamas, no shower remember) holding a shovel and dragging 10 kids.

I introduce myself to this gentleman: "I know you don't know me but I have this situation..."  I then proceed to explain my predicament and after looking at me for a long moment he agrees to come over with his teenage son.  So off we go and guess what?  When we get to my kitchen IT'S GONE!!! Now, I know that that thing was nearly dead so it stands to reason that it couldn't have gone very far and the only thing worse than seeing a half dead mouse is NOT being able to see one that you know is there.  So, I'm up on the couch (with the shovel and the 10 kids) while these two strangers root around the kitchen for like 15 minutes.  Finally the guy looks at me and says, "Miss, I'm sorry but I can't seem to find it."  Uh...By this point I am seriously this close to having a major freak out so I look at him with a crazed look in my eyes and say, "You don't understand.  If you don't find it, I'm going to freak. Out."  The poor guy stares at me, nods his head and replies, "Ok Miss, we'll find it."

By this time his wife has come and after some more rooting around we eventually find it hiding behind a Target bag (of course.)  The wife PICKS UP the mouse with her BARE HANDS and starts petting it!!!!!  What????  As they head out the door the man looks at me and says, "You should probably have a drink."

So there you have it--a glimpse into more of my crazies.  I have more stories too--a bat in the fireplace, a squirrel in the attic but I'll save those for later.  In the meantime we're still trying to get to the bottom of the stench.  Dave braved the crawl space and says he can't see anything--I'm holding out hope that it might just be the pond stinking it up because heaven help me if it's something that was once living...