"What They Don't Tell You When You Decide To Be A Mom"

It is a testament to my nutso life that it's been over a month since I've written a post.  (I know,  I know, you've been waiting with baited breath for my wise words...)  Life has been busy at the Morgan house with school getting out, vacations, camps, new callings, work and life in general.  But really, the reason is because my creative juices don't seem to be flowing quite as freely.  I'm wondering if maybe it's because the blog served it's purpose when I was going through our crazy, angst filled year and a half.  Like literally I think this was my therapy.  (I mean I'm married to a dang good psychologist but Dave can only do so much you know??)  But then again there is still angst to be had over here.  I don't know if you are aware of this or not but some days being a mom is HARD!

I look at new moms with their sweet little snugly babies and think, "Just you wait."  Because those babies grow up.  And they get opinions.  Which are not your own.  Nobody told me that!  And so in that spirit here's a few more things they don't tell you about being a mom:

1.  There is no handbook.  Oh sure, there's a mountain of parenting and discipline books with nebulous titles like "How To Empower Your Strong Willed Child", or "Say Goodbye to Your Picky Eater", but who are we kidding?  What I need is a manual for my specific children--actually I need a manual for each one of them and guess what?  It doesn't exist.  I actually asked my doctor for one when Kennedy emerged from the birth canal because let's face it--after 5 boys I was clueless when it came to girls.  That dumb doctor didn't have one.

2.  Once you figure out how to parent the first one there is no guarantee the same strategies will work on the 2nd, or 3rd.  It's like the universe is mocking you--"OK, we see you can navigate eye rolling with your firstborn, let's see how you handle it when we throw in door slamming and incoherent mumbling."

3.  And in an even crueler twist of fate, everyone else will think they know how to parent your child better than you.  Oh sure, they won't necessarily say it to you directly (unless you're on the phone with the principal again) but you know they're thinking it.  Because let's be real, you're thinking the same thing about your cousin's kid.

4.  At some point your children will be larger than you which means that strong arming them into matching shirts for family pictures is pretty much out of the question.  In fact, family pictures in general are pretty much out of the question by the time they are all teenagers because you are NEVER going to find a time when they are A) In the same place at the same time and B) Agreeable to the idea of a family picture.

And finally:

5.  Even with all of the above, it's still the most awesome job in the world.  Oh sure, it's also the most hair pulling, mind numbing, frustrating, scary, feels impossible thing you will experience.  (Case in point; just today I locked myself in my bathroom with Candy Crush and my tears. ) But it's balanced by lots of laughter, and pride and happiness and love.

You see, I think it takes all of those hard times to make us appreciate the good ones so much more.  Cliche I know, but it's true.  Being a mom is the worst--but it's the best.