LaLa Land Mid Life Crisis

Last weekend Dave and I decided to pony up the big bucks and go to the movie theater to see the critically acclaimed "LaLa Land."  In case you haven't heard this movie is racking up awards faster than you can count and our son Davis loved it and has been playing the theme song for the last month.  I figured a musical would be a fun, light hearted end to our week.

Uh...wrong.

Have you seen this movie?  We loved it--but we hated it!  I don't want to give anything away but let's just say that we left the theater in a serious state of introspection (and possibly minor depression.)

(I realize after reading what I just typed that it paints the movie in a bad light.  I have a hard and fast rule that I don't see movies (or read books) with sad endings and I will say that seeing this movie didn't break that rule--I guess...I think the fact that I STILL can't decide if it's a happy or sad ending says something for the number this film did on me.)  Let's just say this movie will make you take a hard look at your life.

I can fully admit that I am currently in a state of "what am I doing with my life???"  I can see the end of my child rearing days and they aren't terribly far off.  For the last 24 years I've been raising kids.  I loved it--most of it.  (Potty training, two year old tantrums and teaching teens to drive I can do without.) From the time I can remember all I wanted to be was a mom and while raising a big family certainly has it challenges, it was exactly what I knew I should be doing.  And I've loved the ride.

And in less than 5 years, that ride is over.  Now, I want to be clear, I'm looking forward to what's ahead.  I just don't know what's ahead.  What does the next 25 years look like for Dave and me?  I'm hoping it involves cruises and visits to grandkids and the usual Disney trips.  I want to do more service, do more writing and who knows, maybe bring this podcast dream to fruition.  But it's all a little murky and just a tiny bit scary.

In the meantime, I'm going to try to savor these last few years.  I want to be more thoughtful, more engaged, more present.  And someone needs to answer this question for me:  What is UP with the end of that movie???