The Best of TV (According To My Sources)

In my quest to find my purpose I've been sidetracked. And the culprit is "Poldark". Have you seen this show??? I have a serious love/hate relationship but it did provide some mindless distraction for a while. (But WHY IN HEAVEN'S NAME does Ross keep going over to Trendwith??  WHY?????) 

Here's the thing--at the Morgan house we are creatures of habit which means we tend to watch the same series and the same episodes over and over. (In fact as I type this we are watching an episode of Seinfeld that I could probably recite by heart.) 

I decided it was time to broaden my TV viewing, but what to watch? So much to choose from and so much that is garbage. And so, I turned to the best place I know to get advice: Facebook.

And friends, FB provided. Or more accurately my awesome FB friends did! So many suggestions and now it seems I have a lot of TV to get to. For those of you that expressed interest in getting the list I complied from the 166 (1) comments, here you go:

Castle

Call the Midwife

Gilmore Girls

Hart of Dixie

Kim’s Convenience (Netflix)

The Goldbergs

Longmire

White Collar

Chuck

Bluebloods

Bones

A Million Little Things

Final Table (cooking show)

Bookshop

Friday Night Lights

The Good Place

Doc Martin

Heartland

Mrs. Wison

Elementary

Community

Fringe 

Better off Ted

The Crown

Leverage

Madam Secretary

Chernobyl

Victoria

Downton Abbey

House of Cards

Psych

Community

Parks and Rec

Hawaii 5-0

Brooklyn 99

Sneaky Pete

Parenthood

Chuck

Life in Pieces

See No Evil

Snapped

Nailed It

Heartland 

Justified

The OC

Broadchurch

Luther

River

Sherlock

Cheers

Frasier

3^rd Rock from the Sun

Pushing Daisies

God Friended Me

Drop Dead Diva

Great American British Baking Show

America To Me

TURN

VIDANGEL these:

-B Bodyguard (9/10)
-Breaking Bad (10/10)
-Stranger Things (8/10)
-Luther (8/10)
-Umbrella Academy (7/10)

reaking Bad (10/10)
-Stranger Things (8/10)
-Luther (8/10)
-Umbrella Academy (7/10)

-A Place to Call Home

Merlin

The Good Witch

The Durells in Corfu (Netflix)*

Murdoch Mysteries

Father Brown

Bomb Girls and Land Girls (might be 2 series)

Last Tango

Foyles War

Hallifax

Doc Martin

LA Law

Person of Interest

Vera

Line of Duty

Loch Ness

Netflix

Madam Secretary

The Crown

Last Tango in Halifax

Longmire

Arrested Development

Hinterland

70s

80s

90s

Rectify

Five Came Back

Hell on Wheels

Miracle

Brian Regan

Hulu

Gavin and Stacey

Prime Suspect

Rizzoli and Isles

MI5

Scott and Bailey

Can Someone Point Me In the Right Direction? Mid-life Crisis Up Ahead

“Begin with the end in mind”. I stumbled upon this quote on FB the other day and it spoke to me. Not in the “oh…NOW I understand where my priorities should be” sort of way. No. Not that. More like the “but what if you have no idea what end you want?” sort of way. Now I’m not talking about the BIG end. Nah…that’s pretty clear. I want to greet the next life with my family intact, as a follower of Christ and a life well lived. That I understand. That I get.

What I am having the hardest time figuring out is what the next steps in this life should be. This isn’t a new feeling. It’s been hanging around for a while-a few years if I’m being honest. A usually gentle (but sometimes not so gentle) feeling in the back of my mind. A feeling that there is something I’m supposed to be doing, a goal I’m supposed to be working towards. Just…something. 

I have no idea what that something is. 

I know what you’re thinking. Classis signs of a mid-life crisis right? You probably wouldn’t be wrong. Soon I hit the big 50 and in less than that the last of our children will leave the nest. The gray hairs are multiplying by the minute, I just bought my first pair of drugstore eyeglasses, and I’m a legit grandma. It seems like the perfect time for me to lose it a little, perhaps reassess my life goals and actually move towards them.

But what if you don’t know what your life goals ARE?? I am blessed. Beyond blessed. That fact is not lost on me and I thank my lucky stars for the life I have, the people I call family and the friends that love me for my quirky self. I have a rock star husband. (Seriously—he’s the BEST!). I’ve got great kids who married great kids and are having adorable babies. I’ve got the knowledge that the gospel is here on the earth and I’ve got a boat load of faith. I’m grateful for it all, and perhaps becauseI am so grateful for it all, I don’t want to squander this life. I want to be better, try harder, accomplish more, reach my goals.

As soon as I find out what those goals are…

So, if you can relate, or have any bright ideas, or even just have a magic 8 ball I can borrow to figure this out, I’d sure appreciate it.

Photo Cred: Daniel Gonzalez

Other People's Opinions of You Are None of Your Business

Meet my niece Annie. Annie is six years old and wants to be a clown when she grows up. I want to be Annie when I grow up.

Life has a way of throwing you off balance one in a while. Ok--maybe more than once in a while. But have you ever felt like things were humming along pretty nicely and then "wham", life throws you a curve ball? Or maybe it actually feels more like a tidal wave? Yes. That seems like a more accurate description now that I'm thinking about it...

In those moments it can feel like a spotlight is pointed at you, shining a light on your situation for the world to see and well, quite frankly, judge. And let's be honest, people are judging. I'm not going to pretend that I'm above being judgmental because I'm not. Although there is nothing that will humble you more than going through a life trial. I was talking with a teen recently about something she had going on and she said "I just know people are talking about me and what happened."

"Yep," I told her. "They are."

I'm not going to lie to her because that's just being unauthentic. People talk. People judge. It's human nature. Sometimes it's because they think they could do it better. Often it's because it gives them a false sense of security. ("At least I don't have the Morgans problems"). Occasionally they think they are being helpful. (Here's some advice: usually they aren't).

It begs the question "why?" Why do we let other people get into our heads? Why do we let other people question how we live our life-how we raise our children, live our religion, spend our money, use our time? Why should it matter?

I'm not sure it does. Outside of the obvious--not doing intentional harm to our loved ones and living within the law, it's not really up to anyone else to make us question or feel badly about ourselves. Heaven knows we are pretty good at doing that to ourselves.

Nobody knows us except God. He knows and loves us perfectly. He knows our struggles. He knows our heart. He knows the path HE has designed for us--not the one we think He has designed for us, or others think He has designed for us.

I'm working on saving my energy to be my best self. MY best self--not the person someone else thinks I should be. I heard this great quote today: "Other people's opinions of you are none of your business."

How great is that? And true! Too much of our energy gets taken up with worrying about how others view us and to what end? How does that serve us?

When Annie showed up at the park in full on clown regalia, complete with magic marker make-up, a snarky teenager teased her about it. She just said "I want to be a clown."

Its for sure--I want to be Annie when I grow up.

Oh--and I'm keeping this photo forever. Because it is AWESOME.

People Pleasing As A Life Strategy: It Works. Until It Doesn't

I was born a pleaser. Not in the "I want to fit in and be cool " pleaser sort of way. More like the "I don't want to give anyone any trouble or think that I'm not doing ok sort of way." Perhaps that is pride-the desire for others to think everything is A-Ok. After all, nobody likes a whiner. I certainly don't. The motto for our house, for heaven's sake, was "no crying, no whining, no talking back." Vague social media posts begging for sympathy annoy me and we all know people who seem to delight in their troubles. So perhaps it's my "anti-whining" sentiment that contributed to the people pleasing trait.

Then there is the fact that it's not really appropriate to air ALL of your dirty laundry. I mean, there comes a point when disclosing the nitty gritty of your life that you just start making people uncomfortable. You know that look people give when in a moment of indiscretion a person vomits the entire workings of their mind and you can see the other party visibly start retreating for the door with a look of "get this woman a therapist"? No? Maybe that's just me...

This "people-pleasing, life is just hunky dory" mentality works pretty well. Until it doesn't. Until one day your seemingly "perfect" life is not so perfect and becomes apparent in a somewhat (or maybe major) public way.

When that happens you have a few options. The first is the natural response: PR management. You put on a happy face, start looking for a positive "spin" on your personal life sensational headline, and go full throttle on damage control. Because people pleasers at heart are experts at damage control.

If that strategy doesn't prove successful or requires too much energy, the next approach is what I refer to as "pulling up the drawbridge". When your current trial is taking up so much energy you don't have time for damage control, instead, you close the door (literally and figuratively). This is demonstrated by going into dark mode where you avoid people as much as humanly possible. If it isn't possible then this is done with a smile on your face and the response "everything is fine" when those you are forced to associate with notice your less than normal cheery demeanor. In actuality you're a psycho mess but you don't want to bother anyone else with that nonsense and more importantly, letting someone else know means you actually have to start dealing with it as opposed to playing Candy Crush for hours on end while lying in your pjs on the couch with a stack of Oreos.

Or so I hear...

But I'm here to tell you that I have discovered a better way. And it's a scary way at first for us people pleasers. It's called "vulnerability". Perhaps you've heard of it. Perhaps that word makes you roll your eyes or retreat in fear. Perhaps, if you're a people pleaser who is currently strung so tight you will explode any minute, you might try giving it a shot.

Vulnerability means admitting first to yourself, and then to those you are close with that things aren't ok at the moment. It means saying "I'm struggling," or "life is hard" or "I have no idea how to handle this right now and I might be losing my mind". It means opening your soul a little bit and confronting the fact that your life might be less than perfect. Vulnerability is not vague booking or whining or airing all your dirty laundry. It's sharing your worries with someone you trust--not the internet.

It's scary at first. But then something happens. Something wonderful.

A weight is lifted. Not just for you but for those you share with. Because here is a little secret: their life isn't perfect either. And now you've opened that door-that space-to allow them to be vulnerable too. To recognize that it's ok to admit that life has thrown a curve ball.

In the last several years our life has thrown us a few curve balls. In actuality that's been happening for a long time. Because life is not meant to be easy. Growth doesn't come from easy. Yet too many of us think that when things are hard that we are doing something wrong and even more disturbingly, that we are in this alone.

Alone is what leads to anxiety, to stress, to depression, to chronic people pleasing.

Alone is scary.

You don't have to be alone. I have learned by experience that when we allow ourselves to say that we are going through a rough patch, something wonderful occurs. Empathy arrives. True friendships emerge and peace comes not just for yourself but for those you can confide in. Because there is a solid chance that they are struggling as well.

My challenge to all my fellow people pleasers is this: try being vulnerable. Try admitting that you could use some friend therapy. Or professional therapy. Try sitting with the idea that it's ok to say you could use some help.

And then watch the magic happen.