Monday, May 27, 2013

Progress Report and Cute Shoes

Well, I'd like to report that our house has transformed itself from chaotic and cluttered to controlled and clean.  I'd like to report that, but it would be a lie.  Because it looks pretty much exactly the same.  I managed to put away the clothes pile on the tub and I kept it clean for a whole day--a whole day people!  But the pile is back and it's even bigger than before.  I've also added  4 pairs of ballet flats to the pile.  (I have a serious weakness when it comes to ballet flats, just ask my husband.) In my defense, this week has been crazy busy with a band auction, traveling out of town,  general life nuttiness, and the acquiring of two new pairs of ballet flats (they are ADORABLE)  but my house is still a mess.

What I CAN report is that we have made some progress in the area of giving our kids more responsibility and I'm finding that I'm becoming more aware of the times when I tend to step in and do for my kids what they can otherwise do for themselves.  If you would have asked me a few months ago if I was a "helicopter mom" I would have said no and that would have been correct.  Because I am a full on "search and rescue team Mom." A kid forgets his lunch:  I'm running to school to leave it in the office.  Daughter lost her brand new ballet tights--I'm headed to the store for a new pair.  It's a sickness really.  As I've worked to be more aware we have had some successes and here are some examples:

1.  Handsome Morgan Boy VS Cranky Teacher-- we had a situation involving a scathing email regarding one of the Morgan Clan.  In the past, I would have tried to really get to the bottom of the situation and "fixed" the problem.  I've never been one to assume my kid is not at fault--in fact I usually assume my child is at least 75% at fault but I have always tried to remedy these situations when they arise. After all, though my kids aren't perfect they are pretty great and everyone should know this. This time, I did speak with the child and then sent a quick email to the teacher telling her we had discussed the situation and I was going to leave it up to the two of them to work out.  And guess what--they did!  Without my expertise.  Imagine!

2.  Personal Assistant--one day my schedule was packed with work, driving kids to lessons, making a meal for a friend, meetings, etc. (Shopping for ballet flats may or may not have been on the agenda.)  I really needed to do some basic grocery shopping and figured I'd have to make a late night trip.   Side note:  I HATE grocery shopping.  Like seriously despise it so I tend to put it off as long as possible. And then, as my 20 year old and 14 year old were headed out the door to the mall I had an "aha moment"--these boys were more than capable of going to the grocery store for me.  So I wrote them a list and off they went.  They came home later (after a few frantic texts regarding brands of spaghetti sauce) with the shopping done!  

I know that doesn't seem like a lot but I think it's a start.  After all changing your thinking is really most of the battle and I'm finding that more and more I'm stopping and thinking, "Is this something I need to do for them or can they do it on their own?"  Surprisingly, most of the time, they can do it on their own and I think they feel a sense of accomplishment when it's done.  That really is the whole point of this whole thing anyway--so maybe I'll ignore that clothes pile for another day:-)

2 comments:

  1. I so enjoy reading your posts. You are so real! I often find myself in the same situations, especially the forgotten lunch one... But as a "stay at home mom", whatever that means, I think it's nice that we have the time and the desire to help our kids. It's so lovely when someone helps me. And not just when I can't do it for myself, but because they care. I try to teach my girls the skills to make them self sufficient and expect them to help around the house. But I bet that your "search and rescue team" parenting style is at least partially responsible for the 'search and rescue team" kind of friends and community members your kids already are. I say, good job!

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  2. Thanks Cristina. I do agree that at times we need to help our kids. I still make my kids lunches--even the 18 year old because for some reason that is my way of showing I love them every day. I've just realized that sometimes I jump in a little too often to "solve" their problems and I'm trying to be more aware of it. You have great girls so you are obviously teaching them well.

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