Hey Mom--what's for dinner?

For some reason I had this crazy notion that once summer came this new plan of teaching my kids responsibility/independence/resilience would be easier.  Not so much.  I'm struggling to figure out when to do the room checks when kids are still lounging about until 11 am.  I know, I know!  I'm one of those moms who lets their kids sleep in during the summer.  I'm sure some of you are shaking your heads and saying, "no wonder her kids don't pick up their socks...."  Heres the thing though--I ADORE sleeping in!  There was nothing that I loved more when I was a teenager than having the luxury of sleeping until my body told me to wake up.  I still love sleeping in though that tends to hardly every happen.  I also think that my kids deserve a bit of a break.  After all, during the school year all of my teenagers have to be at early morning seminary every week day at 6:10 am so I feel like being able to sleep in during the summer is a reward for that.  Call me crazy.

So...I've adjusted my expectations a bit for the jar method.  I've decided that for now, I don't care so much about the bed being made because I still want to do my room checks each morning.  BUT--the room needs to be straight and they must have their daily job done before bed the night before.  We'll see how that goes.  

I'm also getting ready to implement phase 2 of "becoming a responsible citizen/resilient child."  The dreaded cooking aspect.  I've mentioned before that I pretty much hate cooking.  I've spent a lot of time analyzing it and here is what I dislike about it:

1.  Planning the menu--because there is NOTHING all six kids like.  Except when I make scones for dinner.  And fried bread dipped in honey does not constitute a meal.

2.  Shopping for the food--I seriously have to work up the courage to go to the grocery store.  I'd rather go to the dentist than Winco.  And don't even get me started on Wal-Mart...

3.  Paying for the food--I have two issues here.  First, the money--but I don't whine too much about that because Dave is my sugar daddy.  Secondly, I'm always slightly ashamed at the amount of sugar cereal, cookies, crackers, etc that make up my cart.  I feel like the cashier is silently chastising me for the amount of junk food I'm purchasing.  I always feel like saying--" I really buy healthy food too--see my bag of apples?"

4.  Bagging the groceries--it's like Tetris gone bad.

5.  Putting them away--because this means confronting last week's leftovers in the fridge and the soggy tomatoes in the vegetable drawer.

6.  Cooking the meal--it takes an hour and is consumed in under 10 minutes.

7.  Cleaning up--speaks for itself.

So as you can see, the only part I like is eating it.  Which is why the workers at Baja Fresh and Panda Express know me by name.  

But--I do want the kids to learn how to prepare a meal from beginning to end.  That means that I want them to plan, shop for, cook and clean up the meal.  This is going to be a huge adjustment for me because I am a last minute chef.  The kids ask for dinner and I never know--or I tend to change my plan from one minute to the next.  It's like cooking ADD.  So, my plan is to assign each kid a night and let them be in charge.  I'm starting with just three nights a week because our summer is busy plus I don't want Jose at Baja to forget me just yet.  

Wish me luck!

"Pomp and Circumstance"

The crazy train has ramped up to turbo mode the last few weeks around here so I haven't posted for a while.  I know, you're all cryin' in your cheerios about that I'm sure.  Is it just me or is the end of the school year just nuts?  It's been extra busy for our family as we've had Carter graduate this last week which is really fun--and really sad too.  It's caused me to reflect on a few things so forgive me as I wax poetic here for a moment...

I've realized that even though I'm frustrated with my household's lack of organization and discipline that somewhere along the line we did a few things right.  I mean, look at this kid:

Yeah,  I know I'm his mom and all but that is one good looking kid right?  And not only that, but he's a really nice kid!  He's thoughtful, he's smart, he's got college plans, he's nice to his mother and in two short months he's off to serve a mission in Brazil.  Brazil!  That is a long way from home!  But I'm so happy for him and the young man he's become.  I also can't believe how stinking fast it went.  I mean it literally seems like only yesterday he was wearing his "lucky shirt" every single day and carrying around his pet "chain."  (Yes--I am one of those mean moms who won't allow pets because heaven knows I can barely manage the stress of keeping six kids alive, let alone an animal.  Plus they smell.  And shed.  And need a babysitter when we go out of town.  Oh the list is endless really...)  Anyway, in lieu of a pet this kid had a dog chain collar he carried around.  EVERYWHERE.  Even the bathtub which is where it probably met it's rusty demise.

It got me thinking because I promised to be brutally honest on this blog and I can't lie.  The last couple of weeks have been rough in the parenting department at times.  Oh, we have our cute jars and some days all of the kids have their beds made and their rooms straight.  But just as many days none of it is getting done--I'm just getting richer.  And meaner. 

Case in point:  our weekly jobs were not done this week--one of the kids tried to get out of it by saying they didn't know which one was their hook.  Seriously? Those flashcards didn't help at all.   Anyway,  because of that I was out mowing the lawn at 9:30 pm Saturday night because I was mad and just too beaten down to make the kid do it.  I mean--he has it agency right?  Stinkin' agency.

But then I stop and look at that picture of Carter or I watch Kennedy and Parker in their recitals, or see Davis and McKay headed out to a day long rehearsal, or watch Jordan playing the piano for the primary kids in sacrament meeting and I think, "you know what?  It could be worse.  There may be a mountain (and I tell you, it's a MOUNTAIN ) of clothes in the laundry room at the moment, and there are still weeds in my front yard, and my bathrooms are nowhere near as clean as they should be, but I have great kids.  Really great kids.

But they better watch out 'cause summer's here and I'm attaching names to those hooks. 

"I said, GOOD MORNING GIL!"

"I said, GOOD MORNING GIL!"---Bill Murray in "What About Bob."

I've had that quote running through my mind a lot in the last few weeks as I remind myself that it is baby steps.  (For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about it's time to watch that movie.  Hilarious.)  I have to keep reminding myself that it is the little things that lead to big changes--baby steps.  For example, we have started our new allowance system.  First, we started with our weekly jobs:

Basically each kid has their own hook--see how there are six together on the left?  I figured they were smart enough to know that it goes from oldest to youngest starting on the left.

I was wrong.

Each kid has asked me which one is their hook--some of them have asked me more than once.  I probably should label them or something but right now I'm too stubborn to do it.  I mean seriously--there are going to be harder questions that this one on the SAT--if they can't figure out which hook is theirs then we are in trouble.  The hook on the far right holds a number of different jobs that any kid can do for more money.  Each kid must do their weekly job first before being able to do any extra ones.

I have to say that overall, this has gone really well!  Not only are the kids finishing their weekly jobs (mostly) but they are also doing the extra ones.  Jordan did an amazing job organizing the pantry--and it took far longer than I anticipated so he negotiated a higher price but I was happy to pay it.  McKay has really taken advantage of the new system to do a number of jobs around the house--I came home today to find him cleaning out our pond.  And for those of you who have been unfortunate enough to view the pond lately---I'm sorry...But come on by now 'cause it looks fantastic!

Baby steps...

With that, we are onto the first week of the reverse allowance system.  This is what we came up with:

As I explained, each month I put 30 $1 bills into each jar.  Every morning I check to see if their beds are made, rooms straight and dirty clothes picked up.  Since we just started this I don't have much to report other than I will say, ALL the kids had clean rooms and neat beds today!  

Baby steps!

(Someone asked me where Jordan's jar is.  We started out without him having one because, let's face it, the kids is 20.  However he wanted something to be accountable to so he has one now but his works a little differently.  For every day his room is NOT clean I put a marble in it.  Each marble equals a $1 he has to pay towards gas money for the kid's car.)

My laundry room is still a mess, my tub still has a (smallish) pile of clothes on it and I can see a couple of pairs of socks, but overall I think we are making progress!

I'm going to see how the next couple of weeks go because I have big plans once summer starts.  This involves three different areas:

1.  Cooking--I could seriously do like a million posts on how much I hate cooking/shopping/meal prep/clean up.  I think involving the kids will only make it worse but I think it's a necessary skill they need to master on our quest to make them productive members of society.

2.  Volunteer Work-because we want them to sometimes work for the greater good.

3.  Apprenticeships/Job--I'm actually excited about this idea and have some things in the works so I hope to have some exciting things to report in the next couple of weeks.

Until then--I'm off to create flashcards so my kids can remember their birth order.

Have a great night!

Pinterest is of the devil

The man who invented Pinterest is a genius.  An evil genius.  Here is a place where people from all over the world can "pin" cute pictures of anything.  Like penguin pinatas.  I am not making that up--who knew there was a community of people who make penguin pinatas?  I have a serious love/hate relationship with pinterest.  On one hand, whenever I need a recipe or fun craft there is a wealth of information.  Have a craving for Red Lobster cheese biscuits?  (Also of the devil by the way.)  Pinterest has it.  Want to know how to make the perfect "smokey eye?"  Check out my niece's make up "board." On the other hand--let the coveting begin!  There's nothing that makes me feel like the world's worst homemaker/designer than scrolling thru this guilt inducing site.  After thirty minutes  I'm headed out the door with a list of craft supplies to create crepe paper pom balls--which two years later are still only halfway done and collecting dust on the shelf in my coat closet. Honest truth.  Don't get me wrong--I love it.  But I hate it.  

Take for example my most recent search.  I was looking up ideas for my laundry room and here are a few I found:

Lovely right?  I mean, who wouldn't want to spend HOURS in one of those rooms sorting/washing/drying/folding and putting away clothes?  Because let me tell you, with six kids it is hours folks.  Especially because I have to hunt down all those socks scattered around the house.  I'm sure your'e wondering, "so what's the problem?"  I'll show you the problem:

I would love to tell you that this site is an anomaly but I would be lying.  This is my laundry room.  Ironically, it's one of my favorite rooms in the house.  When it's clean.  Which is pretty much never.  The funny thing is, I'm actually pretty good about staying on top of the laundry.  I mean, there is always at least one load in the washer and/or dryer and usually one waiting to be folded so it's not like I have baskets and baskets full of clothes to take care of.  The beauty of this room is that I have a big drawer for each of the kids so I can fold directly into their drawer.  The original plan called for them to empty their drawer every day but instead they just wander down here every morning and get dressed.  (Note--if you're planning on dropping by anytime before 8:00 am you may want to call ahead to avoid half dressed teenagers...)

The real problem with this room is that it's the general dumping ground for coats, shoes, backpacks and various odds and ends in addition to the laundry.  And so tonight while looking thru pinterest I was once again discouraged because I'm pretty sure my house is never going to look like the ones I find there.  Maybe I should start a 'real life' pinterest.  With pictures of bathrooms with the toilet seats up, old pizza boxes beneath a teen's bed and a pair of underwear under the piano.  (Which may or may not be a regular occurrence at the Morgans...)  Who knows, maybe women will hail me as an unsung hero--a discouraged mother whose not afraid to show the world how we really live!  But probably not.

In the meantime, I'd love to hear how you all stay on top of your laundry rooms.  Because there has got to be a solution.  Pinterest says so.