The Calm Before the Storm

As I sit here at the computer I was struck by how peaceful I actually feel for a minute.  The house is quiet with only two of the six here, dinner is cooking on the stove, the house is clean (alright--my bed isn't made and there are a few clothes on the tub but it's generally clean) and it feels...wrong.  I mean it's nice--but not normal.  Not at all.  Yesterday I actually felt like doing some halloween decorating which the kids were appalled at--"Mom--it's not even October yet!"  Yes, I understand but the chance of me having both the time and gumption once October rolls around is pretty slim.

Anyway, I'm taking a moment to enjoy it because life seems to be changing faster than I like some days and while change is good, it can also be hard.  I realized that I'm not the only one here who struggles with that sometimes.  Just the other night one of the kids was setting the table and switched his place to Carter's old place at the table and another child (again--they prefer anonymity on the blog) about had a heart attack.  Like, he was seriously upset about it.  So, the end of the table sits empty, sort of like a sad memorial to the brother away for the next two years while the rest of us pass mashed potatoes past the vacant place setting.  

But while change is difficult it's also rewarding.  I like that my kids are doing a better job of picking up after themselves.  In fact I remarked today that my child who I thought was a slob for sure actually has a clean room now that he moved into Carter's old one.  (Apparently the same mentality doesn't exist for bedrooms--comfort and privacy prevail there I guess.) Who knew?  He just needed his own space it seems.  The kids are doing their laundry.  I'm doing a better job at planning meals and more importantly I'm looking at ways I can let my kids be accountable more and make more of their own decisions.  Now granted, sometimes they aren't always the decision I want them to make but that's part of those growing pains I suppose.  And so, I guess I'm grateful tonight.  Grateful for the few minutes of calm before the storm (because the storm will come I'm sure), grateful for these six crazy kids and the one fabulous husband, and grateful for the chance to change and improve.  And trust me, there is still room for improvement--loads of it.

Dare I say: progress?

The back to school craziness is in full swing here at the Morgans.  Here's the calendar I spent 2 hours figuring out the other night:

I was pretty proud of myself for putting that together--I'm just hoping I still have the gumption to do it when October comes around...I cannot tell you the number of school years I started a calendar like this and got one or two months into it and then gave up because it was too overwhelming and then I ran all over the place like a chicken with it's head cut off trying to remember which kid I put where that day...(thank heaven's for smart phones because at least now I can set an alarm.  When I remember to take my phone off of silent--which isn't as often as I should.)

Another one of my main goals in starting this blogging adventure was to improve my children's resilience and self reliance and frankly, to improve mine as well.  I've been thinking a lot these last six months on how we raise happy, capable, hard working kids and I'd like to tell you I have the magic answer but I don't.  Because I don't think there is one.  Kids come with their own personalities, strengths, and flaws and that's the way it's supposed to be and for us to expect that just because what works for one will work for another is naive.  And I was naive.  I remember that as we continued to have boys thinking, "well at least I'll know what I'm doing."  Riiiiiight...and then came Kennedy and when she was born I actually looked at the doctor and asked if there was an instruction manual in there as well.  (Note:  there was not.)  However, we are managing to make some progress here at the Morgans.  (I hesitate to even say that because I'm afraid Karma might come back to bite me but what's life without taking chances?)

The one thing that has become apparent to me is that we MUST allow our kids to do hard things.  I love this:

We were discussing this with our kids last week for family night and one of them said that we need to find an uncle with a farm so they can spend summers there to learn the value of hard work.  No farmer uncle to be had here but we do have a cool Disney roller coaster building uncle!  (Does test driving roller coasters count as work?)  So while we may not have a beet farm to send our kids to we have started giving them some more responsibility.  Here are some examples:

Example #1--Laundry:  I blogged about this previously.  With all these kids there is always laundry to be done and while I was actually pretty decent at keeping up on it I really wanted the kids to know how to do it.  The older ones had been doing their own for a while but we now have ALL the kids doing their own--and they are doing a great job!  An added bonus of this is that I am finding that their rooms are staying cleaner with them in charge of their own laundry.   How, you ask?  Because after 20 years I finally figured out that if I gave EACH of them their own hamper in their rooms that clothes ended up in them!  Previously we had two hampers in the hall for whites and darks but I guess it was just way too much to walk the 8 feet out into the hall to put their clothes in them...(I know--this seems like a no-brainer but after six kids I think it's painfully clear I have no brain left.)

Example #2--there is no example #2.  When I sat down to write this post I really thought that I would at least have another example but apparently I don't.  Dang it!  But I'm not going to get discouraged because one example is better than no example!  Right?  RIGHT?????

My Disneyland Epiphany

I know that I devised this blog originally as a place to vent my frustration and hold myself accountable for some changes for myself and my children.  And for those of you who have been following along since the beginning of this little journey (and seriously, if you've managed to stay with me, props to you) you know by now that I haven't made a great amount of progress.  Honestly by this point I was hoping that my kids would be chore doing fiends and I'd be a picture of organization with chore charts done, calendars made and that GIANT pile of clothes on my tub a thing of the  past.  But alas--that hasn't happened.

BUT--I have realized something recently.  Most anyone who knows us knows of our love for Disneyland and when the planets aligned, not only did I manage to find and marry a man with the same last name as me (Kristyn Morgan Morgan!) but I found someone who loved Disneyland even more than me!  And so, Disney is part of our family traditions and our children have quite literally grown up in the Magic Kingdom.

Now while I love taking my kids there--because my kids are pretty dang awesome--it hasn't always been easy.  First, there are 6 of them.  And we lose some of them.  A lot. (See previous post). Also, they need sunscreen.  And slicking up six kids takes FOREVER.  Then there is the whole food dilemma.  They are picky and finding a restaurant where they all will eat is nearly impossible.  (And it costs a fortune to feed them--churros alone could force you into bankruptcy. ) And so with that in mind Dave and I in recent years have taken to going to Disney once a year alone.  And it's awesome--I highly recommend it.  I don't have to lotion up anyone but myself and the top of Dave's head, we get to eat wherever and whenever we want and I don't have to carry or push anything!  This year we had the pleasure of running in the Disneyland 10K--and it was AMAZING!!!

What was even more amazing is that we leave our kids home--alone--when we go.  And they survive!  They get along, don't throw wild parties (that I know of), GET THEMSELVES TO CHURCH, and have the house clean when we return!  So that's something right?  So when I get frustrated with my progress or the dirty socks on the floor or the nest of towels in the bathroom, I have to remember that the percentage of teenagers who would roll out of bed on a Sunday morning to get themselves and their siblings ready for three hours of church starting at 9 am has got to be pretty small.  And that means that the Morgan's can't be a total mess right?  I mean somewhere along the line something sunk in and so while we are far from perfect I have great kids.  They may leave empty goldfish boxes and nesquick cans laying around but they are great kids.