The Calm Before the Storm

As I sit here at the computer I was struck by how peaceful I actually feel for a minute.  The house is quiet with only two of the six here, dinner is cooking on the stove, the house is clean (alright--my bed isn't made and there are a few clothes on the tub but it's generally clean) and it feels...wrong.  I mean it's nice--but not normal.  Not at all.  Yesterday I actually felt like doing some halloween decorating which the kids were appalled at--"Mom--it's not even October yet!"  Yes, I understand but the chance of me having both the time and gumption once October rolls around is pretty slim.

Anyway, I'm taking a moment to enjoy it because life seems to be changing faster than I like some days and while change is good, it can also be hard.  I realized that I'm not the only one here who struggles with that sometimes.  Just the other night one of the kids was setting the table and switched his place to Carter's old place at the table and another child (again--they prefer anonymity on the blog) about had a heart attack.  Like, he was seriously upset about it.  So, the end of the table sits empty, sort of like a sad memorial to the brother away for the next two years while the rest of us pass mashed potatoes past the vacant place setting.  

But while change is difficult it's also rewarding.  I like that my kids are doing a better job of picking up after themselves.  In fact I remarked today that my child who I thought was a slob for sure actually has a clean room now that he moved into Carter's old one.  (Apparently the same mentality doesn't exist for bedrooms--comfort and privacy prevail there I guess.) Who knew?  He just needed his own space it seems.  The kids are doing their laundry.  I'm doing a better job at planning meals and more importantly I'm looking at ways I can let my kids be accountable more and make more of their own decisions.  Now granted, sometimes they aren't always the decision I want them to make but that's part of those growing pains I suppose.  And so, I guess I'm grateful tonight.  Grateful for the few minutes of calm before the storm (because the storm will come I'm sure), grateful for these six crazy kids and the one fabulous husband, and grateful for the chance to change and improve.  And trust me, there is still room for improvement--loads of it.