I never wanted this blog to be "one more thing" that I had on my to-do list and so I haven't posted in a while because with the holidays life was just crazy busy. Yet, it was still hanging over my head and so I thought, "if it's hanging over my head, why don't you just sit down and write something for heaven's sake." It's not like I have a shortage of ideas--in fact I had decided to write a whole post about those dang Christmas letters you receive every year. You know, the ones that talk about how Johnny gets straight A's and is student body president, Megan plays six instruments and volunteers at the nursing home 5 days a week, Peter just received his Eagle Scout award at the ripe old age of 13 and a half and Mom and Dad led the family to victory in their year long goal to read the scriptures and say family prayers EVERY night!!! Woohoo for the Johnsons--we are amazing!
I admit it, I think I'm guilty of sending out letters like that before and they are totally fine. They are fine. But how come we don't send out letters that say, "Billy broke curfew 6 times in the last month, Abby is pulling straight C's and we're crossing our fingers we don't have to shell out the big bucks for summer school, Caleb plays Minecraft on the computer for 8 hours at a stretch, the gutters need to be cleaned, we can't find matching socks to save our life and quesadillas are a gourmet meal around the place?" Because, I think that's a little closer to reality people. Seriously!
Ok--so maybe that's a little extreme (or is it…) but over the last several months I have really thought a lot about how we (meaning me, but I don't think I'm totally alone here) spend so much time worrying about all the things we aren't doing instead of concentrating on what we ARE doing. It's easy to assume that the Smiths always have a clean house and dinner together as a family every night. And maybe they do. But maybe their kids are sassy behind closed doors and maybe Sis. Smith snores really loud. Or something like that. It's easy to think that the Stewarts kids are perfect because they are NEVER late to church but maybe that's because Sis. Stewart dresses them in their suits the night before and they sleep in their clothes. (Honest truth--I know somebody that did that! Genius I say!)
I mean, it's a fine line--you don't want to air ALL of your dirty laundry--but how about some of it? I have found that almost without question, when I admit to someone that I have only cooked twice in the last two weeks other moms nod their head in understanding. Or when I mention that I have 4 baskets of laundry to fold and 5 kids are down to using one towel between them, my friend looks visibly relieved that she's not the only one.
So I'm starting it people--I'm admitting that the Morgan's are not perfect--not even close. (Shocking I know!) We go thru probably 6 packages of Oreos and Chips Ahoy every week and if my kids eat more than one vegetable or fruit in that time span we are doing well. I'm really bad about making my kids do chores. I don't enforce bedtimes. My kids all have phones or iPods (they are monitored and the app stores and browsers are locked but I know that's no guarantee.) The van has not been cleaned out or washed in months, there's a layer of dust on my family room shelves and the sink has not been empty of dirty dishes for a few days now. (Because once I empty them there are always MORE. Why????)
This doesn't mean that we shouldn't be striving to be better--this life is all about progression. But it's not about perfection and the sooner we understand that, the better we will feel. So my goal this year is to spend less time thinking about what I'm NOT doing and more time thinking about what I AM doing. I love my kids. We laugh together and genuinely like being around each other. They are kind to one another and to me 99% of the time. We try to do what's right and we succeed more often than not--but far from 100% of the time and that's ok. We're just going to try to be better. That's all. Just a little better:-)
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