The Universe is Mocking Me

I'm pretty sure the universe is mocking me. Actually, probably in more than one way but there is one particular area that it seems to be telling me "yeah--we'll see about that."

Those that know me well know that I have a strict "no pet" policy. I'm not making any judgements on those of you that have pets (unless you insist on bringing them into Target strapped to your chest in a baby carrier), and contrary to what my kids think, I do not dislike animals. I just don't want them in the house.

I half jokingly keep a list of why we never have, nor never will have a pet. It starts with the practical (allergies, hair on the furniture, having to hire a sitter when you leave town, etc) and graduates into the psychological (I can't worry about keeping another creature alive and I hate goodbyes). So I'm not willing to budge on the policy.

Nature is mocking my policy.

Currently we have two birds nests taking up residency on or in the house. The first is in the vent over my kitchen window and aside from some slightly obnoxious chirping, it's not that big of deal.  However, the second bird family has decided that right in the front of our house where we park the van is a perfect place to roost which means every time you walk past, a bird swoops out at high rate of speed inches from your head and scares the living daylights out of you, Alfred Hitchcock style.

This comes after a long line of invasive nature issues. First we had to cap the chimney because a giant collection of swifts would roost up there and get stuck inside. There was the infamous mouse episode (which you can read about here) which was followed by the freaky "squirrel in the attic" debacle. And it got worse. One evening I was sitting in the family room and could hear the weirdest squeaking noise. I could not figure out where it was coming through so I started crawling around the room looking for what electronic device was emitting the sound. Eventually I found myself in front of the fireplace and looked up to see two beady eyes staring at me. It was A BAT!!!  That is the epitome of horror because let's be honest, I have some crazy mouse phobia and we all know a bat is just a mouse with wings!  Ughh...I was so worried that bat would squeeze it's way through the cracks in the fireplace screen that I did the only thing I could:

I duct taped my yoga mat to the front of the fireplace and waited for that sucker to perish.

See what I mean???  The universe is mocking me.

I'm starting to see that it's just a metaphor for other things in my life. I've had lots of policies over the years that stemmed from naivete and good intentions, but someone else had other things in mind. My kids make mistakes, plans fall through, choices have to made and lessons learned. I can't quite figure out what the lesson is I'm supposed to learn from these freak invaders but I know there is a lesson there.

And it better not be "get a pet..."

So Much Worry

Anxiety. Depression. Stress. Is it just me or does this seem to be a much bigger problem in recent years? More and more it seems like people of all ages, but particularly children and young adults are suffering with these issues. Why is that?

Dave and I discuss this often. In fact, he is currently writing a book about it (and I can't WAIT for it to come out). Obviously, there's not one easy answer. I think it's over diagnosed. I think we are often too quick to label ourselves or children with something because it in some ways absolves us of responsibility (a notion that I recognize as probably unpopular). It could be the food we eat, our lack of exercise, or watching too much Dateline.  (Though I hope not. I really like Dateline...) There are a bunch of possibilities for why we are seeing the rise in these issues but one is bothering me more than any:

I think we have unrealistic expectations for what life is supposed to look like.

Life is hard.  It's not meant to be easy.  Yet somehow we seem to think that if it is difficult something must be wrong with us. Social media exacerbates this thinking. We see the cute instagram pictures, the celebratory FB posts and we think that everyone else has figured something out that we haven't and therefore something is wrong with us.

I used to think that if I did everything "right" that my life would fall perfectly into place. My kids would make all the "right" choices. My husband's career would go the way he wanted it to. There would be no health or emotional issues, people wouldn't annoy me and squirrels wouldn't roost in my attic.

But guess what?  I WAS WRONG!

Life is hard! But you know what I have also figured out?  There is joy in hard! I used to think it was impossible--to be happy or find joy when something was going "wrong".  I'm no psychologist but I think that we would have a lot less anxiety, stress and depression if we all recognized this and realized we aren't doing something wrong when things get tough.

Everyone has kids who make dumb choices. For heavens sake, WE make dumb choices all the time! (Just ask my kids). There are bills to pay, leaky sinks to fix, weeds to be pulled, family relationships to mend, apologies to be made and mistakes every day to rectify.  And it's supposed to be that way!  I really believe that if we all just realized all of this is NORMAL that we would be a lot less anxious, stressed out and depressed.  We'd realize that we can handle more than we think we can and that there are lessons to be learned in the difficult moments, even joy to be had. In fact, by experiencing the hard things and approaching them head on, we build resilience and see that we are capable of so much more than we thought possible and we truly find joy in the journey.

But then again, I'm no psychologist...just an occasionally stressed out, less than perfect mom.