So Much Worry

Anxiety. Depression. Stress. Is it just me or does this seem to be a much bigger problem in recent years? More and more it seems like people of all ages, but particularly children and young adults are suffering with these issues. Why is that?

Dave and I discuss this often. In fact, he is currently writing a book about it (and I can't WAIT for it to come out). Obviously, there's not one easy answer. I think it's over diagnosed. I think we are often too quick to label ourselves or children with something because it in some ways absolves us of responsibility (a notion that I recognize as probably unpopular). It could be the food we eat, our lack of exercise, or watching too much Dateline.  (Though I hope not. I really like Dateline...) There are a bunch of possibilities for why we are seeing the rise in these issues but one is bothering me more than any:

I think we have unrealistic expectations for what life is supposed to look like.

Life is hard.  It's not meant to be easy.  Yet somehow we seem to think that if it is difficult something must be wrong with us. Social media exacerbates this thinking. We see the cute instagram pictures, the celebratory FB posts and we think that everyone else has figured something out that we haven't and therefore something is wrong with us.

I used to think that if I did everything "right" that my life would fall perfectly into place. My kids would make all the "right" choices. My husband's career would go the way he wanted it to. There would be no health or emotional issues, people wouldn't annoy me and squirrels wouldn't roost in my attic.

But guess what?  I WAS WRONG!

Life is hard! But you know what I have also figured out?  There is joy in hard! I used to think it was impossible--to be happy or find joy when something was going "wrong".  I'm no psychologist but I think that we would have a lot less anxiety, stress and depression if we all recognized this and realized we aren't doing something wrong when things get tough.

Everyone has kids who make dumb choices. For heavens sake, WE make dumb choices all the time! (Just ask my kids). There are bills to pay, leaky sinks to fix, weeds to be pulled, family relationships to mend, apologies to be made and mistakes every day to rectify.  And it's supposed to be that way!  I really believe that if we all just realized all of this is NORMAL that we would be a lot less anxious, stressed out and depressed.  We'd realize that we can handle more than we think we can and that there are lessons to be learned in the difficult moments, even joy to be had. In fact, by experiencing the hard things and approaching them head on, we build resilience and see that we are capable of so much more than we thought possible and we truly find joy in the journey.

But then again, I'm no psychologist...just an occasionally stressed out, less than perfect mom.