Thinking Of Jumping Off the FB Ship? Try This Instead

People are bailing left and right off this ship.  The Facebook ship that is.  Just today I saw multiple friends who said they're out, they can't take it anymore.  I get it, I totally do and I wasn't far behind.  But then I had a thought, what if instead of taking ourselves out of the game, we turned the game around???

What if instead of doomsday posts about how our country is going down we posted about serving those around us?

What if instead of political rants, we engaged in thoughtful discussion?

What if instead of casting blame, we offered help, instead of calling others bigots we offered enlightenment, instead of foul language we offered kind words?  The possibilities of how we can turn the tide are endless:

*Bring on the family pictures--we need more of those.  And I don't just mean the picture perfect family moments.  Show me your not so perfect moments so I know you're real just like me.

*Post a picture of nature--a sunset, the mountains, the woods, or any other amazing creation.  We are surrounded by beauty and it can counteract all the ugliness.

*Share inspiring quotes--because maybe they are cheesy, but it starts my day off a whole lot better than another political diatribe that just riles me up.

*Cat pictures.  I can't believe I'm saying it, but cat pictures are better than what we currently have clogging up our feeds.

I'm not saying we have to be Pollyannas (though we could probably all stand to have a little more Pollyanna attitude gracing our lives.)  I think there is room for thoughtful discourse--I'm just not seeing a lot of it right now. I think some cat pictures might for once actually help...

And if you are looking for more of this sort of content, head on over to Instagram where you can follow us on morganlifeadvice.  We keep it real and hopefully bring a smile to your face.

Who is with me?

Snowmageddon

It was Snowmageddon here.  Or the Storm of the Century or Snowpocolypse.  I can't remember what the news stations actually called it but it was dramatic and for once here in the Pacific Northwest, they weren't too far off base.  See, in this part of the country snow is a bit of rarity and when you see the forecast calling for some snowflakes you think only one thing:  Snow Day!  As a child you would wait for that call to come in that the 1/2 inch of snow dust coating the roads meant the busses couldn't possibly get out and you get the blessed day off.  Heaven!

Well, this year Heaven lasted more than a week.

That's right folks and that week came right on the heels of Christmas break.

I felt sorry for my friends who are moms of little kids.  Because I get it, I do.  You've just survived having them home for two weeks and are looking forward to getting them back on schedule and a few precious hours to yourself where you don't have to police sibling squabbles or constantly feed and pick up after them.  I've been there.  I mean you're talking to a woman who used to pray for all day kindergarten only to have it become a reality the year AFTER her youngest started to school.  It was like the kindergarten gods were mocking me because we all know half day kindergarten is really just kindergarten hell--not enough time to actually get anything done and not worth the trouble of getting the kid up, fed, dressed and to the bus stop on time.  (I might be a little bitter about this still...)

But snow days with teenagers?  That's a whole different story.  Let me tell you what THAT looks like:

*sleeping in (for Mom too)
*no lunches to make
*late night movies and puzzle making
*no nagging to complete homework
*no mom taxi service

And the best thing of all:

*no nighttime obligations.  School concerts, games, meetings are all cancelled when school cancels and that means a rare quiet night at home.

It's funny how quickly life changes without you even noticing.  It honestly doesn't seem like that long ago that I was listening to Nick Jr and praying the district would abolish teacher in-service days so I could get some peace and quiet.  So I loved Snowmageddon for what it was.  A chance to enjoy the blessings of being the mom of a house full of teenagers.  And the sleeping in.  Let's not forget the sleeping in.

Over Scheduled and Stressed Out

“We women have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something. We have to learn to be content with what we are.” 

― Marjorie Pay Hinckley

Over scheduled.  As a society, as families, as individuals we are over scheduled.  Have you ever asked a friend how they are and gotten in response the mile long list of all that they have going on?  And it's said with a bit of eye rolling but almost a little badge of honor.  It's like we've come to expect that unless all of our waking hours are filled with places to be and things to do that say, "we matter" we don't think we...matter.  Then to top it off we push those ideas onto our kids by filling their lives with dance lessons, music lessons, drama productions, choir, band, sports of every kind, after school clubs and who knows what else.

I've been there.  I've done that.  And I'm taking a step back.  Because I value my sanity more than I value my sense of accomplishment at this point in my life.

As a mom of 6 kids I've done scouts, sports, dance lessons every day of the week , piano lessons (and even a brief stint of tuba lessons.)  I've been PTA president, booster president and held all sorts of other board positions.  I serve in my church, attend lots of meetings and STILL manage to feel guilty that cooking a real dinner is the exception not the rule.  But over the last few months I've decided to come up for air.

It hasn't been easy, but it has been worth it.

It started with my daughter deciding not to dance this year.  I'm not going to lie--that was a tough one for me.  She's talented and I enjoy watching her perform.  My psychologist husband would probably say it involved a little vicarious living on my part.  (In his words, "you're gonna have to let this go.")  He was right and you know what I've found?  She's happier.  She's more content.  She comes home from school and takes time to relax and unwind from the day instead of cramming a snack in her mouth, changing her clothes and piling in the car.  She's no longer stressed out about being late, or missing class or not measuring up to the other girls at the studio.  We have more time as a family, and spend A LOT less time in the car and more time talking and doing puzzles and just...being.  Perhaps in the future she'll change her mind and decide she wants to dance.  But maybe she won't, and it's ok.  She's learning that her value as a young woman isn't in all she does or the titles she wears or how busy she makes herself.

Which caused me to do some self introspection.  I realized that maybe, just maybe, it wasn't always the healthiest to fill every waking moment with something "worthwhile."  Maybe just because you're "good' at something doesn't mean you have to do that something.  Just because it's a worthwhile venture doesn't mean that it's worth your time or sanity at the moment.  Perhaps I didn't need to be the one to fix everything or offer an opinion or volunteer for every presented opportunity.  

Don't get me wrong--I'm not knocking dance or volunteering or anything else.  What I AM knocking is forgetting where are our priorities are or feeling like we have to be "busy" to matter.  Because we don't.  

So I've let some things go.  They weren't easy decisions but they were the right decisions and THAT, is what matters. 

Why Sarcasm Is Killing Your Relationships

Sarcasm.  It can be clever (like Hugh Laurie in "House").  It can be funny (Jerry Seinfeld anyone?). It can even be self deprecating (think Chris Farley and "Fat Guy in a Little Suit".) But it comes at a cost.  And that cost may just be the important relationships in your life.

See, we mistake sarcasm as a funny approach to dealing with people.  It stems from the inability to really connect--to develop a bond of emotional intimacy.  It's a barrier, a shield that we put up when we are uncomfortable or afraid.  Sometimes we don't even realize we are doing it, particularly if it's become a habit.  We say things like "nice job," or  "smooth move," when we see someone make a mistake instead of saying "are you ok" or "how can I help you?"   We jokingly say "don't mess up" to our kids before they perform because it's harder to say, "we've got your back and believe in you."  We "sarcastically" call our wife the "old ball and chain" or our husband "my other child" because we don't have the confidence to say that they are our better half and we'd be lost without them.

And when we do all those things all we are doing is putting a big wedge in our relationships.  Because it's scary to be open and honest in our feelings and it's much more comfortable to blanket our statements with sarcasm.  And yet, think about it.  Sarcasm is killing your relationships by sending some pretty devastating messages:

You don't fit in.

You don't belong.

You aren't important to me.

I don't trust you.

I don't appreciate you.

I don't believe in you.



I can be better.  You can be better.  We can all be better.  It doesn't take much--a kind word, a helping hand, a welcoming smile.  That's all.  And I'm not even being sarcastic:)